January 2011

Sixty one now
Sitting here smoking a smokeless ciggarette (akin to sucking on a bic pen)
12 lbs. overweight, other than the volumptous C cups...the rest is beyond hideously foreign....
In spite of yet another year of very hardwork, pulling out all the stops, jumping thru hoops, juggling everything....making lemonade from lemons.....the brew was for the most part vile.
2010 WITH BUT ONE EXCEPTION, was a rather downer year...A "hit the wall" kinda year.
THE BRIGHT SPOT...the SAVING GRACE, MY GRANDSON...a healthy baby JACK!

CHANGE is never easy....the older one gets, the more daunting change becomes. When once "risk" was considered exhilerating, motivating, and filled with promise.....one day you wake up and view it as terrifiying... Of course when there's little to loose, risk carries little weight, when there's everything to loose at an age when re-cooping losses isn't all that favorable, one tends to think LONG AND HARD to make risky changes.

LOTS on my mind...lots weighing heavy these days.....change HAS to happen that much is for certain. CAN'T HAVE ANOTHER 2010, that's the resolution!

Marijuana

I've noted a number of posts on facebook pertaining to legalizing marijuana. Rather than lighting up a firestorm by "commenting" my thoughts on facebook I'm opting for an entry here.
I agree with many advocates that the "criminalization" of being caught with pot is excessively harsh. Our current laws place a huge burden on local law enforcement, the judicial system, and greatly place a huge burden on the prison/jail system. REFORM of the penalties would greatly lesson these burdens which we, the tax payers are paying for. Being an advocate for lessening the penalties is quite different than legalizing the use of marijuana.

Surely society has MORE THAN adequate ways and means available to us for altering ones reality, and more than enough serious life threatening problems in this country which can result from such options....Talk to anyone associated/working in drug rehab programs all over this country. Talk to the parents of drug addicted children, talk to anyone involved with AA...look at the statistics for the fraud and abuse of prescription drugs. I have many friends who use and don't abuse pot, who use and don't abuse alcohol, and use but don't abuse prescription drugs....and an equal number who do, the result of which have been early deaths, finances and families in ruin, lives in ruin. I don't think we need to legalize yet another means of adding to those risks inherent in reality/mind altering substances. The message legalization gives to kids is not a message I personally can support, it's hard enough for parents today raising children....LEGAL pot will be just one more difficulty parents will be confronting if it becomes legal. Amsterdam today is far from the hip place it was, it's a sewer...the costs of which the country is grappling with. I don't see anything positive that can result from legalizing it, not tax revenue, not anything worth opening that door. Reform the penalties....I'll support that!

Gay Marriage..

Being a moderate conservative who lists left on select issues, todays news has compelled me to "officially" declare my view on Gay Marriage. California won a victory today for the constitution..."EQUAL RIGHTS FOR ALL". For a while I was a tad torn...a strong advocate for "Domestic Unions" with all the rights and privledges of "married", but not quite sure about embracing gay "marriage" persay. I credit my change of thought on this to Glenn Beck (gads...GLEN BECK??!!) I'm not sure where the man stands on this particular issue, but I am sure where he stands on "EQUAL JUSTICE FOR ALL", and 'CIVIL RIGHTS". Gay marriage is about civil rights, the constitution....I applaud the decision today in California, and hope when it hits the supreme court, they will also rule in favor of equal rights and equal justice for all. (the downside...and there is, that the vote of the populace didn't matter, AND THAT'S DISTURBING)

What's she about?

I'm a curiously idealistic - pragmatic mix of urban tastes with a down to earth approuch to most things, I do afterall work in clay...mud, it doesn't get more down to earth than that!
I've avoided "political" comment on facebook, but for rare occassion when my fingers hit the keyboard in an uncontrolled reply that typically ignites a firestorm among my more liberal friends.
SO...What's she really about? What does she really think this artist, this self relient, independant solo act?
IMMIGRATION:
My grandparents arrived on Ellis Island with nothing but an eagerness to learn the language, with a burning desire to embrace the opportunites of freedom, capitalism.. ready to work hard..a dream to become Americans to raise their family in the greatest of all lands to better themselves and make better yet the lives of their decentants.
America offers to anyone willing and wanting such to do just that, and they did. They suffered thru the bigotry of "Italians with broken English", Italians who had very limited doors that would open, and succeeded by virtue of the faith in what this country stands for...equal opportunity for all. My grandfather bought a barbershop across from the grand old historic Court house downtown, an elegant establishment with immaculate chairs and mirrors, employees mandated to wear starched shirts and ties. It was a place the local judges, lawyers, city officials came, which put Grandpa on the map and into circles that over the years served him quite well. It is afterall " who l you know" and he knew everyone who was everyone. While my grandmothers sisters all had go to work in factories during the depression, My Grandma Jean didn't, instead attended the performances at the Eastman Theater, operas and symphonies. Her childred dressed in the grandest most fashionable attire, and grandpa worked tirelessly till the day he died, proudly living the American dream.
Arizona is suffering the brunt of illegal immigration, the costs to the State are staggering in healh care, housing, schooling, bankrupting both Arizona and California, 12 million illegal persons. Crime, gang wars, drugs, killings, the kidnapping capital making security and safety for the legal residents an ongoing ever increasing nightmare. THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT has not adequatly secured the boarders, has not done what the government is mandated to do....provide security and deal with the massive problem of the South West boarder communities and cities. I BELIEVE a path to citizenship for those illegals here, working ,living...raising their families here MUST have the ways and means to expidite legal citizenship, and BE MANDATED to become LEGAL. Illegals engaged in crime, gangs, drugs, human trafficing MUST be deported, and above all else...the boarders MUST be CLOSED NOW till a path to legal citizenship is enacted. Common sense, we have laws, we ignore them....WHY?? Latios can be a major voting block in this country plain and simple. Politicans playing politics is the reason we have this costly explosivly devisive problem....They who endear themselves thru turning a blind eye, not enforcing the laws pertaining to illegal aliens, those establishing sancuary cities and/or pushing a blanket amnesty for breaking the immigration laws will gain the Latio vote. This is about Political power, not homeland security, not the safety of the legal citizens, not anything but finding the political ways and means to USE immigration and race as a means to gain millions in votes for the polical party seeking that latio vote... I sickens me, when the GOP came up with a plan, it was blocked....the opposing party is fighting for the VOTES.

GRANDMA

A new title, A new role...."Grandma", OH MY I've made it to the threshold of one of lifes BIGGY passages (wasn't sure I'd get here actually). Margaux and Danny knocked me practically off of my feet Feb. 27th with the amazing news. I really wasn't quite right for hours upon hours after arriving home, ....emotions all over the map!! Those who know me can attest I'm a rather impassioned person, I couldn't sleep all that night trying to get a handle on everything I was feeling and thinking...SO much JOY for Margaux and Danny, saddness my mother isn't around to share in it, how thrilled the rest of the family will be, the many changes a new baby in our lives will mean to everyone....all the wonderful things I'd be wanting to do with my grandchild, lots of things I wasn't able to do as a single Mom with my own children, I'd have a second chance to do with my grandchild! Then the worry...Margaux being such a tiny little thing, eating well, surviving morning sickness....the flood of concern for all that can go wrong in a pregnancy, OH MY WHAT A NIGHT...Thrilled, frightened, worried, elated, emotionally everywhere! I finally settled down when it hit me........"immortality", a feeling of great peace and comfort.... Margaux and Danny will live on thru this child, just as I will live on thru this child, a DNA thing........I went to sleep finally with a big smile on my face, thinking many generations from now, when I'm long long long gone, there will be a person (who just like me), can't figure out why they love sculpting in clay, why in the world they're so good at it!! LOL, indeed, the beat goes on!!

SIX DECADES

I recently turned sixty. It had that feeling when you turned 21, it carries some importance. My children threw a surprize party, a first having never had one before I was truly surprized and delighted stepping into this next decade with such a happy positive entrance! Them taking the time and effort for the party meant more than they could know, feeling loved is absolutly EVERYTHING. So...being a goal oriented type, I've given some thought to how I'll make the most out of what feels like probably the last decade I'll be able to achieve some goals before stepping into my 70's (GADS). Not one to grow old with acceptance and grace I've determined an eye and jowel lift is absolutly on my "to do list"!....Ah vanity. Not for anyone other than myself who is having increasing difficulty with the mirror every morning. Altho I'm down to only 5 artshows annually, am more than willing to add 3 additonal shows to finance my "youth enhansement", thats the plan A for 2010. Plan B has to address the ciggarettes that have dominated my life for decades and (given the outrageous costs of my only induldgent passion), it's practically bancrupting me! I started on my birthday to give serious effort to reducing it by half......some days have been better than others, but have to start somewhere so I'm doing it. Plan C is to find some kind of parttime employment as a monetary subsidy measure to help with my less than stellar budgetary needs, as well as to serve as mental health measure getting me out and about.... Those are the primary goals, I've many secondary aspirations for Kathy in her 60's, a vision of putting as much fun as possible into this next phase, "fun" has been a bit elusive for the past few yrs....getting that direction turned around is mandatory! For the most part I'm thrilled to have made it to 60 (many I knew didn't make it), other than the customary little aches, pains...READING GLASSES.... grey hair streaked blond....a vigorous vitamin routine that now includes suppliments for joint health...and those occassional loosing the keys or where I'd put the cell phone, 60 isn't all that bad!

October 09

What happened to global warming??... the furnace has been running for a week, highly unusual for this time of what typically is "Indian summer" in Columbus. Daunting to realise winter will be arriving soon. (feels like any day now) Envious of those fortunate enough to winter in warm sunny locations....Who ever said "money doesn't buy happieness?"...it may not, but surely makes unhappieness more tolerable! Would love to be packing my bags right now with shorts and bathing suits, my tolerance for winter has been erroding fast for the last 3-4 yrs. OK...it is what it is, facing another winter, contemplating how to survive it with a smile.....a job. A parttime job in a busy place, where there's people....horrible being home in the house solo all winter, grazing on comfort food counting the days till spring to finally emerge from reclusion. Creativity for some reason becomes as frozen as the landscape, I don't create much in the winter. Time today to dispose of the last remnants of summer, the dead baskets of impatiens and begonias, dead tomato plants, turn the garden...yank the table umbrellas....find the leaf blower.... Lemonade from lemons, next week , I'll look for a nice little no brainer parttime job close to home, just the thing to help the winter fly bye....with a little luck, something fun.....at an age and stage of life when FUN has to be a part of most every endeavor.